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Traditionally, Jigglypuff is one of the tankier pokemon in the series. She puts enemies to sleep, takes a ton of damage, and uses pound to beat the opponent to death. In Super Smash Bros. the pink ball is more like a balloon filled with doom. If you main the squishy spectre, this article is not for you.

In the Melee circuit, Jigglypuff has been ruining grand finals for years now. Her naturally safe and campy playstyle has inspired massive hate from the Melee community as a whole and rightfully so. No one wants to watch Falco bair for less than a minute, so why would anyone want to watch your Jigglypuff bair for an entire set? The most exciting thing a Jigglypuff can do is go to sleep, and if that’s not telling of the character as a whole, I don’t know what is.

Your Flagship Mains:

Hungrybox: As a player, Hungrybox has grown and passed through a lot of stages as a player, but unfortunately he still hasn’t outgrown this Puff phase. At his best, Hungrybox is a Ness player that makes a horrific character look semi viable, and at his worst, he’s making Melee look like Brawl while timing Armada out on Dreamland.

Prince Abu: Best known as the Puff player that helped Hungrybox get better at being Hungrybox, and before this passed Canada Cup, Prince Abu failed to top 8 the last 11 tournaments he’s attended. The only thing worse than watching someone play Jigglypuff in the safest possible manner, is watching someone play Jigglypuff in the safest possible manner while they lose.

Mango circa 2007: If it weren’t for Mango, there would be no Hungrybox. And if it weren’t for Hungrybox, we wouldn’t have the rising amount of Puff mains that we have currently. Mango made Puff look viable, with his shield pressure, combo game, and all around aggressive playstyle. I’m not sure if you’ve watched any modern Puffs play lately, but all of those attributes have all but disappeared. I urge all of you to write your local congressman, so we can finally make Mango atone for his sins.

Jigglypuff has a relatively small pool of top players, and that’s largely related to the stigma that’s placed on the character. It’s also related to how boring the goddamn character is to watch and play. There’s next to no technical skill involved in playing the pink ball, and she’s a terror to anyone who takes risky movements, attacking on shield, trying to challenge off-stage recovery etc. Jigglypuff is the mom of Melee. She shows up just to stop the fun and to make you put away your toys, and all of your friends dread seeing her when you hang out.

What Really Sucks?

Planking was one of the main criticisms of Brawl as a game, and Jigglypuff is the literal embodiment of planking as a character. She stalls, evades, and tries to slowly chip away at any offensive tactics. I’m sure every Melee player can appreciate defensive tactics, but when that’s all there is to a character it kind of puts a damper on the fun of such a high-paced game and it makes us forget why we play Melee in the first place: to have fun. Sure winning is important from a competitive standpoint, but even pro-football players have fun while they’re breaking their legs, why should competitive Melee be any different?

What Might Not Suck?

When I say there isn’t any technical skill required to play Puff, I mean it. The hardest technical thing you will ever do as a Puff player is SDI or L-Cancel a Dair into a grab. That low barrier of entry is really good for new players, and Jigglypuff’s overall defensive playstyle requires opposing players to rely heavily on their fundamentals and a strong neutral game. Sure, as Melee players it's really easy for us to complain about a character that kills viewership, but overall Jigglypuff is a character that promotes play theory, refined approaches and punishes, and creative recoveries. At the end of the day, Jigglypuff forces players to make more conscious decisions during sets, and as a player isn’t that something we should be thankful for?

Author’s Note:

I want to give a huge shout out to Mark Nestico, he was a major inspiration for this series. And, of course, I hope you all can read between the lines and see that this article is drenched in sarcasm and misinformation. If you don’t see that, feel free to shoot me your bitter emails.

About The Author

Michael is a fiction and poetry writer, having been published in magazines, literary journals and literary anthologies like: Maudlin House, Spark Literary Magazine, Atlas and Alice, Pigeon Holes and many more. In his spare time, he likes to be mediocre at Smash 4 and practically intolerable at Melee.

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